New Year's Resolutions

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There's a joke about change regarding mental health clinicians. The joke is: How many mental health professionals does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change. This is a new year, a new beginning. In America, we make New Year's resolutions. Most of us have difficulty keeping those resolutions. I have some suggestions on how to keep a New Year's resolution. First, make it achievable, make it something that's just out of your reach. Make it something that if you stretch yourself just out of your comfort zone, you can reach it, or achieve it. Secondly, make it something that you really desire to change. I've been wanting to lose weight for the past year and have succeeded due to some dietary changes. However, I have paid a monthly gym membership since February 2019, wanting to change but not really wanting to change. Not really wanting to do it, I guess if I'm honest with myself. Because if I really wanted to change like that light bulb. I would change. Thirdly, I would say make it specific, make it a specific goal. Something we have to do in counseling is to have a goal that is S.M.A.R.T. That acronym means Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Based. For us to measure how someone is doing in therapy, we have to have it done in a S.M.A.R.T. manner, and one of those points is "attainable." Fourthly, I would recommend that you focus on the positives in changing your behavior instead of the negatives. Years ago, a group developed a form of counseling called Solution Focus Brief Therapy. In that form of therapy, the therapist encourages the client to look at when they are successful, not when they are exhibiting the problematic behavior. It's known to work, and it's known to work in the short term. We always beat ourselves up. Typically, we beat ourselves up, and we are taught to look at the negatives but look at the positives; look at what you're doing right or towards your progress. Approximation is a great word we use in counseling when someone gets closer to their goal—their bullseye if you will. Visualize someone not hitting the bullseye but getting closer with each try. That is my hope for you that you will view your approximations as getting closer to the proverbial bullseye. Therefore, for the new year, I say, make a resolution or two. Don't overwhelm yourself with more than two or three resolutions at a time. Make them just out of reach so that you can achieve them. Notice how close you're getting towards that goal as you go. Remember that Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither are you going to achieve that goal in a week, two weeks, or even four weeks. Treat yourself to something positive; reward yourself when you do something that is getting closer towards that achieved goal. Perhaps you made it to the gym today and stayed there for five minutes on a treadmill. Five minutes on a treadmill is better than zero minutes on a treadmill. Give yourself a break. I wish you a very happy and prosperous New Year in 2020. I hope it is everything you want. And that any obstacles are dealt with in a healthy and prosperous manner. I also hope that you work on this goal in particular—be easier on yourself. Do not beat yourself up over the New Year. I am in the process of reading a few books on this subject currently. They're helping me not to beat myself up. Get out there. Accomplish one or two resolutions for 2020, and don't beat yourself up!